I’ve never been huge into Valentine’s day. I never was the kid who gave out cards at school, I never bought anyone a Valentine’s Day card. And I promise I’m not just saying that to seem like the cool “its just a commercialized holiday anyway” kinda gal. Trust me, if it’s my birthday, I expect all the things. Like Bora Bora on a private plane with champagne imported from France (JK, gimme a cold Coke), and we’ll call it a day. But Valentine’s Day… meh.

Here’s the kicker though. I still like cute little dates though. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Like, just one on one time with my guy. Wanna know my favourite past time? Making him have deep and meaningful conversations with me. He just loves it when I say “hey, let’s talk.” Ha! I might as well have just told him he has to wear underwear with itchy insulation in to for a year. But! Last summer we went on a road trip, a very loooooong road trip. And I started asking him questions I had found on Google or Pinterest. I would ask and he would reluctantly answer, most of the time with “I dunno.” But after hour 3, and KM 646, and question #1008, he started to relax. He even started to think about his answers. And at one point, he even said “OK, now it’s my turn to ask you questions and you answer.” So there you have it folks. There is hope.

So this Valentine’s day I challenge you to not get a teensy bit mad when the fella doesn’t come home with over priced flowers, or a box of cheap chocolates. Instead, make a brownie and put vanilla ice cream over it and top it with strawberries. Or eat a bag of Doritos chips and have a Coke (or root beer, or ginger ale- I won’t judge). Or just sit on the couch and eat ice cream out of the pint. But ask each other these questions. See where the conversation take you. You might surprise each other.

Questions to ask your Boo/BAE

1). What is one of the biggest lessons you have learned in life?

2). What makes you different from other people?

3). If you had to pick 3 people in your life that represent wisdom, strength, and comfort, who would you pick and why?

4). Describe yourself using only 3 words

5). What was the best thing about how your parents raised you?

6). If you could start your 20’s all over again, what would you do different?

7). What has been you favourite/best age yet and why?

8). If money was no object, where would you travel to?

9). If you could be successful at anything career wise, what would you be doing?

10). What does success mean to you?

11). What habit do you do that you think probably annoys others?

12). When do you feel the most joy?

13). What is one thing you’re afraid to tell me?

14). What do I do that makes you happy?

15). What is your favourite meal?

16). Favourite chip, favourite candy, favourite dessert?

I hope you discover something new. Maybe about yourself, or about the other person. But just remember that Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean fancy dinners, expensive flowers or lavish gifts. That’s what birthday’s are for. Valentine’s day is “just some made up holiday that has been completely commercialized.” Ugh. But how we still hold our breath when we hear him come home! It’s in our nature. This year, make him that brownie. And ask him these questions. And I hope you feel joy when he sits next to you. And I hope you feel loved. And I hope you feel safe.

I hope you have a wonderful Valentine’s day. Wether that means you just had a good day by yourself, or with your best friend, or your family, or your sister, or your mom, or the lady that always smiles at you at the grocery store. I truly hope you have a good day.